Holidays: I can’t seem to lose them

Holidays: they say the key to a successful holiday function is preparation; that must be on my other key ring. You know, the lost one.

Every year they fool me! Holidays always begin with so much promise. One minute you’re watching the commercials with the happy kids and bobbing your head to your favorite carols, the next you have torn the last of your edges out while you cry yourself to sleep. My holiday is considered a roaring success if I narrowly escape hanging myself in the lights, and don’t locate more than one “lost gift” from last year floating in the flotsam and jetsam. This time of year can sometimes feel more like warding off impending doom than a celebration. Why?

Shiny things are calling me!

For starters, I’m too busy being excited and overstimulated. There’s shiny stuff! Shiny stuff EVERYWHERE!! All five senses are engaged: when you are busy tasting touching smelling looking and listening to everything at once, it’s easy to forget you were supposed to be home wrapping your own gifts three hours ago.

In addition , there’s having to remember stuff. Organization and shit. People to disappoint by the forgetting of the stuff. Just the thought of it all sends my anxiety through the roof! Pass the eggnog; no, just pass the rum. The whole bottle.

Let’s not forget: socializing! My old friend (insert eye roll here). Some things improve with time, like wine and comfy tees and cast iron pots. Socializing? Not so much. Rooms full of people, struggling to find something to say, not being awkward? Monitoring how much time I’ve spent escaping into the world of my phone? Shoot me, please.

In conclusion, we carry on. Why do we do it? For the people we love, of course. When you see the first child smile, or listen to your grandmother launch into one of her famous stories, it’ll be worth it. Traditions, even nerve wracking ones, are (sometimes) the comfy jeans of life. They’re well worn, well loved, and they always fit. Hang on, it’s almost over.

May your days be merry and less anxious, may you not lose your lists, tape, or scissors,


P. S. If you find yourself in need of a laugh, watch this video of Patti Labelle singing my favorite Christmas Carol at the White House. Spoiler alert: somebody messed up, BAD!

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