Random Holiday Thoughts 2016
Random thoughts are just a normal part of the ADHD existence.
I can’t tell you how many times I snicker at the stuff that pops into my head. Sometimes I share it, but really it is better off left unspoken.
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Here are a few of my random thoughts, just in time for the holidays. We will sing songs, overeat and avoid people(is it just me?). We have so many gatherings and get togethers we would rather tear apart. Can we make it? If so, 2017 awaits us- because 2016 must be stopped (more on that later).
“When someone says Jesus is the reason for the season: Jesus hates Christmas too, I can almost guarantee it. That guy was a rebel.”
Can blinking lights REALLY trigger seizures? Those seem guaranteed to make the holiday unhappy.
Five aunties with mustaches! 4 Ativan, 3 stolen naps, 2 lost scissors and a text saying “someone save me.”
Who let the dogs out? Will they pee on the Christmas tree?
In response to a child’s temper tantrum: “some animals eat their young.”
When someone says Jesus is the reason for the season: Jesus hates Christmas too, I can almost guarantee it. That guy was a rebel.
When someone asks me where I’m going for the holiday: Run away Simba. Run away and never return.
Xanax probably turns quite a profit this time of year.
When I’m struggling to think of what to buy: Cynicism – the gift that keeps on giving. STDs too.
When one of those well-meaning cheer fairies questions my silence: Aren’t I supposed to say nothing at all if I can’t say something nice?
When I don’t feel like decorating: What if the halls deck back?
When I’m tired of hearing all the noise: I hope those people caroling catch the gum disease known as gingivitis.
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