A closed mouth doesn’t get fed. Right?
One of the most humbling parts of managing a diagnosis, and life in general is learning to recognize our limitations.
Limitations mean having less self-sufficiency.
Less self-sufficiency means asking for help.
Spoiler alert: I hate asking for help.
There’s a saying “a closed mouth doesn’t get fed,” and like so many old sayings, it’s true. Why do we struggle so hard against reaching out? If we are lonely, we will sit in silence for days. If we need someone to talk to, we avoid the phone. We starve to death before we open our hungry mouths.
Is it fear?
I’m not afraid,
In fact I always feel guilty when I hear “why didn’t you just call me?” If I were to be completely honest with you, it’s not fear. It’s not even shame. It’s pride.
Pride convinces you to push yourself beyond the point of safety. We are living in a world where to be seen as vulnerable is not only frightening, it exposes you to people who will prey upon your need. Yet, for the most part we are aware of who we can trust. The fear is that we will ask and they will deny us or criticize us for asking.
I’m not claiming those fears are unfounded. We merely need to recognize when they no longer serve us move past them. How do we accomplish this? Was there ever a time you closed your mouth when it should have been open?
Until next time,
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