As always, I’m grateful you have come to listen to what I have to say. Just leaving a quick note to say if you know someone, whether you love or hate them or are just tired of their ADHD having behind, drop them the URL. If you’re loving what you read, like Black Girl, Lost Keys on Facebook, sign up for our email list ( to your right in the toolbar), and please keep spreading the word!

The reality of not being consistent:

Sometimes you mess up when you are dealing with managing a condition like this, because your gauges are off. How long has it been since you’ve eaten, how long has it been since you called your grandmother, how long has it been since you slept last? Have you drank water today? Did you drink any yesterday? Did you pay your electric bill? Did you write that down somewhere? Did you lose the book you wrote it down on? Did you make your last appointment? Crap, you were supposed to be there four or five days ago; now you gotta come up with some reason why you missed it. People with ADHD have a problem with being consistent.

The problem with not having solutions to many of these kinds of questions is that you land yourself in the same type of scenario (sometimes the exact scenario) over and over again. People expect you to learn to be consistent.  People might be sympathetic once or twice, but normally by the third go round they’re assuming if you’re still messing up it is because you want to. Or because you don’t care. It is hard, because you do care. Never think that the lack of change or action is indicative of whether we care or not. In fact, because of our almost CONSTANT issues around these areas, we probably care too much. I know I said this yesterday, but I can’t drive this home enough: when we fail you, it crushes us.

This problem of consistently being inconsistent sometimes seems to have no solution. As I was on my way today running errands, I thought about a predicament my husband and I found ourselves in. He thought he had communicated something clearly to me and I either misunderstood or forgot, and eventually it wound up that the problem didn’t get solved, and it wound up jeopardizing some things that were vital to us. This isn’t the first time it has happened, where miscommunication causes serious issues. But to me it seems like we almost need an assistant, a live person who can snap us back to reality and keep us on consistent. So in other words, we need to have the money for the assistant! Yeah right. Back to reality.

I’m reaching out to you, my fellow ADHDers: how do we remain consistent? Leave your strategies in the comments.

Until next time,

René

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