My life has been in a bit of an upheaval for the past five or six years. See, in that time I’ve had two nervous breakdowns changed jobs four times got married almost got divorced got diagnosed changed diagnoses and yeah, it has been a lot.
Learning how to respect the symptoms of a disorder I never knew I had has not been easy.
Questioning the way I have looked at the world over my lifetime has had to become a routine.
Because I have learned certain “personality traits” I took for granted are not personality traits at all: they are ADHD symptoms, and no symptom defines who I am as a person.
My biggest challenge in that retraining of the mind has been my relationship with time. You see, until recently, I believed that not being on time was just my destiny. I’ve been every kind of late a person can be: fashionably and unfashionably late, tardy, behind schedule, delayed, postponed — you get my drift. I believed that lateness was just a part of my quirky, zany personality ( which isn’t so zany after all — more on that later).
Not only did I believe that my lateness was just me, I believed it was a part of my ethnic identity, my heritage, even my genetics. My mother has always been late. My stepmother has always been late. You all have heard the jokes about Colored People’s Time, right? About how black people live in their own timeline that runs behind everyone else? That really rung a bell with me. So now my lateness was a civil rights issue too, right?
It wasn’t until I met my husband that I learned being late was a problem. A big one. You see, my husband, just a boyfriend back then was, and still is, what I’ve termed a “clock watcher”, and he wasn’t down for my hippy dippy all-you-need-is-love-and-to-show-up-whenever-you-see-fit bullshit. If I showed up a half hour late for a date, he was furious. If I was fifteen minutes behind, he was calling to see where I was. For the first time ever, I got the feeling that lateness was not working for me.
You see, being late isn’t cute. It isn’t quirky and adorable. It’s just plain old inconsiderate. Keeping people waiting and wondering is not a personality trait, it is a personality flaw that makes the people around you insane. Don’t believe me? Step away from the blog and ask them.
I am proud to say that after a lifetime of lateness, I am FINALLY finding a way to be on time, and over the next few posts I’m going to tell you all about it, and give YOU some suggestions so that you can make it your reality too. Now stop with the reading, you’re probably late for something!
Until next time,